5 Dos and Don’ts of a good doctor
The most important part of a relationship with your physician is a sense of mutual trust and respect. This is a potentially lifelong partnership, so choosing wisely is in your best interest! Most of us want an ally in achieving our health goals, rather than an authority figure telling us what to do from on high. You want this person to have your best interests in mind, and you want to be able to communicate with them effectively! Sadly, there are many stories of patients coming away from doctor visits feeling confused, insulted, dismissed, and lacking the knowledge to make decisions from an informed standpoint. So here are a few tips from an insider on what to look for:
A good doctor will:
1. Explain things to you in detail.
These include the reasons for laboratory testing, how to best prepare for lab testing, what your test results mean, your diagnosis and prognosis, and all options for treatment. These are the basics of informed consent, so that you are making educated decisions about your health! If your doc isn’t offering these explanations to you, it is your right to ask clarifying questions. And if your doc can’t explain things to you in layperson’s language, it likely means they don’t have a good grasp of the information.
2. Listen to your full story without judgment or interruption.
Most doctors will tell you that taking a good health history is invaluable. To do this, the doc needs to set aside judgments and expectations, and give you room to tell your story. If you come away from an appointment feeling judged or unheard, this is a huge red flag! Seek out a professional who is interested in truly understanding your unique experience with your health.
3. Keep proper boundaries.
This should go without saying, but if your doctor is acting inappropriately with you in any way, it’s time to get a new doc. This includes discrimination, sexual advances, verbal abuse, intimidation, or even simply revealing too much of their personal life with you, or engaging in gossip. You always retain the right to report this type of behavior to your state’s licensing board, and to fire your doctor if they cross the line. No authority figure has the right to violate your boundaries!
4. Be your ally.
The ultimate goal of a physician is to help you heal yourself. They will assist you in navigating the sometimes confusing world of testing, diagnoses, and treatments, while always keeping your best interests and goals in mind. You’re in the driver’s seat, and your doc is your co-pilot.
5. Respect your time and money.
It’s all about professionalism here! Being punctual, offering payment options, settling disputes, and responding to phone calls and emails all indicate that your doctor values you as a patient.
A good doctor won’t:
Ignore signs and symptoms.
Sadly, patients hear the phrases “it’s all in your head”, or “it’s nothing, don’t worry about it” all too frequently. Not only is this dismissive and disrespectful, it can lead to serious oversights of valid health concerns. Make sure your doctor is taking your concerns seriously—after all, you’re the one living with the symptom!
Offer only one solution.
I’m going to pick on MDs for a moment, because too many of my patients come to me with stories about being prescribed an antidepressant, or a PPI, or a statin, with NO conversations on alternative or adjunctive treatment options. This largely has to do with financial incentives for prescribing pharmaceuticals, simple lack of training in alternative therapies, and personal bias. If your doctor is pushing only one solution on you, it’s your right to ask for alternative options. If they can’t offer any, then move on!
Avoid certain topics.
As unbelievable as it sounds, lots of doctors have a hard time talking about things like sexual health, mental health, substance abuse, etc. Many will completely avoid these topics due to their own discomfort. This is a huge disservice to you, and results in ongoing stigmatization. Seek a doctor who is open and willing to discuss the harder subject matter.
Claim to have answers they don’t have.
A doctor-patient relationship, at its best, involves co-education. If you’ve been living with a chronic disease most of your life, and your doctor has only seen a few patients with the same condition, you likely have more knowledge about it than they do! It’s better to have a doctor say “I don’t know, but I’ll look into it”, than to pretend they know simply to preserve their ego. Your doctor should be willing to learn from you just as much as you’re learning from them.
Try to sell you things you don’t need.
Now I’m going to pick on NDs a bit, to keep it fair. There are many ethical considerations in medicine, among them the in-office dispensary. Have you ever walked into a high-end naturopathic clinic with walls and walls of supplements, had your visit with the doctor, and been prescribed hundreds of dollars worth of those same supplements? Chances are, you didn’t need all of those. But in order to keep sales up, they were pushed on you. This isn’t always a nefarious plot, it’s often the result of the doc’s subconscious fears about not being able to move inventory. If this happens to you, always ask about alternatives, especially if you’re able to get those nutrients through food! Or simply ask which one is most high-yield. You shouldn’t have to break the bank to get well!
Remember that it’s ok to shop around for a doctor! There are countless options for practitioners: MDs, NDs, DOs, ARNPs, etc. If you don’t find someone you resonate with, or if they’re sending up red flags, it’s important to know that you have the right to move on. It’s your health journey, and empowerment is the most important factor in getting well.
